You can tell I got a cold still. Um… Don’t worry. You’re all contaminated. With all the hubbub yesterday, I forgot to tell you guys what I did on my break. (chuckles) Everyone’s riveted. Uh, I went to Aspen. I did two shows, stand-up. First of all, I bought a new coat for it, and
I felt like every guy I know has a great strip-club story, and I wanted one, so I actually spent 24 hours straight at Sapphire Las Vegas to get my story and to beat Lamar Odom’s record. Take a look. [ Both laugh ] ♪♪ So, Lou, you’re driving me to Sapphire right now… -Correct.
Sweater weather! Well, it’s good to have Dusty here. Uh, Annie’s been here a lot. And, uh, Rob, first time. -Yeah. -Rob… -(cheering and applause) Rob’s an old buddy. We did The Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe together, so you can handle this. You were the meanest person there. I don’t think I wa–
Oh, guys, Ron’s been here before. Nikki, of course, and Ray, it’s the first time. -A newcomer. -GLASER: Yeah. -Ray, uh, thanks for coming. Ray and I are at the Mirage this Friday and Saturday -in Vegas. -Friday night. -Together. -ROMANO: Yeah. And you’re not only– you’re not only in the Irishman on Netflix. Is
In times like these, clear, insightful news reporting is something we all need. And then, we also have cable news. Desi Lydic has more in tonight’s edition of Journalisming. ♪ ♪ Journalism has never been more important than it is 2018, but some say it’s under attack. For more on this, I’m joined by Matt
– Ahhh, what the fuck, Bam. I told you not to park here, this my mama car. – Hey don’t worry about it man, I’ma show you how to get a parking ticket paid for free. – You gon’ fix this. It’s on you. You gon’ fix this. – First, find a car that looks
I just got, uh, $500 taken out of my bank account. I was in San Diego, and I got a jaywalking ticket. Well, it was $200, the ticket. But when I got it, I was like, “Fuck your city and your laws. “And you–this cop– you got a better shot of seeing Jesus blow Buddha
Unlike the Republicans, we have an actual woman who can give us her perspective on how this bill impacts women’s health. Michelle Wolf, everybody. (cheering, applause) Thank you. Thank you. Hello, Trevor, hello. So, Michelle, let’s just get straight into it. What do you make of this health care bill? Oh, I’m not sure this
– ♪ ONE AT A TIME ♪ ♪ I PUT MEN LIKE YOU BEHIND BARS EVERY DAY ♪ ♪ ONE AT A TIME ♪ – ♪ LEGATEAUX, YOU MAY TAKE MY YEARS ♪ ♪ BUT CANNOT LOCK MY SOUL AWAY ♪ ♪ ALL THE YEARS I HAD TO RUN ♪ – ♪ I CHASED YOU
– “BEEN TRYING TO REACH OUT TO YOU ALL DAY. ARE WE ON FOR TONIGHT?” [sighs] JEEZ. – WHAT? YOU CAN’T CATCH ME. YOU CAN’T CATCH ME. I’M LANCE MOORE. TOUCHDOWN, BITCH. WHAT? PAUSE. [phone chimes] OH, SHOOT. KEEGAN’S BEEN TEXTING ME. “SORRY, DUDE, MISSED YOUR TEXTS. “I ASSUMED WE’D MEET AT THE BAR. WHATEVER.